Pixel Pushing Monkey

For most of my childhood, I was a scrawny little boy that didn't eat very much. I developed a habit of eating junk food before dinner, eating while watching TV, and leaving half bowl full of food sitting around while doing homework. Even when Mom forced me to sit at the dinner table, eventually I'll find a way to migrate over to the TV and my desk. Neither Mom or I could've predicted how much I would grow to love food. Oh, the miracles of puberty.

As irony would have it, my puberty wouldn't arrive until I moved to America to live with Dad. It's almost as if all those years of begging to finish my dinner was completely pointless, as Dad took all the credit for my healthy development into a young adult with little and no effort. Not that my Dad was a terrible cook, in fact he was a terrific cook when he had the time; but it was also a fact that Dad could've fed me anything remotely resembling human food, and I would've gladly shoveled them with complete disregard to the actual content.

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IM conversation of my friend asking me what I was doing on New Year's Eve. Well, it's really just me rambling on, but I do that a lot anyway.

I'm not big on new years celebration anymore.
my friends & I used to go up to Twin Peaks in San Francisco every year, years and years ago.. and watch the fireworks.

'til this one year, we all got sick
because it's super windy & cold up there on New Year's Eve
and that was the last time
of course, everyone also went their own separate ways
because we all deeply hated each other
deep inside...

No, not really... it makes a good backstory for some sort of a revenge epic involving former best friends who acquires super powers and then proceeds to destroy like... downtown Tokyo or something in their fights.

Oh, the things my friends put up with. Or something like that... (trying to figure out a clever thing to say to close this post....)

...

There are many places that I would never volunteer as my destination, any countries with political instability, any countries without consistent supply hot water on demand, and any countries without reliable internet connections. On the other hand, there are places that are unavoidable, despite the harsh conditions. For example, the public bathroom.

The perils of the public bathroom is often absent in the recess of our minds, which I suspect is a form of primitive self preservation technique. Denial is obviously the most effective tool for curbing one's natural instinct to avoid dangerous situations. Despite my brain's better effort to mask the dangers, thus disallowing any confrontations of the public bathroom, I will put my own life on risk to address this series of life-threatening issues today.

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Writing about passing of someone who's close to you is never easy, especially when it's your parent. I was looking for the perfect thing to say, to create the perfect moment akin to some Hollywood cliché. After spending months writing and deleting several drafts, I've finally accepted that there is no perfect way to say goodbye, and there is no way to encompass everything my dad meant to me with words. Structure, flow, logic, presentation, none of that is important anymore, at least not here.

Our lives as a family, has been a series of comedic, if not tragic timing. My father had, at several different points in his life, prominent career that seemed to point towards the ideal of success. He was once a manager of human resources at RCA of Taiwan, subsequently owned a very successful company with a few partners. I don't think my father was ever a business genius of any sort, rather his rapid ascension at almost any given opportunity had more to do with his genial personality. Family might be his priority, but friends were a close second to the extent of seemingly eclipsing the first. However, that forgiving personality would prove to be his flaw as well.

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My father passed away on August 12th, 2008.

I just got back from Taiwan from all of the funeral proceedings. There are way too many thoughts and memories to process at the moment.

Sorry I haven't posted in a while. I've just moved to a new place, thus has been very busy trying to rearrange my life as a result.

Should I post pictures of the new place?.. Hrm...

I'm sure a million other blogs will be talking about this today. I'll keep it short and sweet:

LA Times article

San Francisco Chronicles article

It's about time. Here is an excerpts from the SF Chronicles article:

In a 4-3 decision, the justices said the state's ban on same-sex marriage violates the "fundamental constitutional right to form a family relationship." The ruling is likely to flood county courthouses with applications from couples newly eligible to marry when the decision takes effect in 30 days.

"The California Constitution properly must be interpreted to guarantee this basic civil right to all Californians, whether gay or heterosexual, and to same-sex couples as well as to opposite-sex couples," Chief Justice Ronald George wrote in the majority opinion.

Allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry "will not deprive opposite-sex couples of any rights and will not alter the legal framework of the institution of marriage," George said.

I've always hated the Christian fundamentalist argument against gay marriage, especially in regards to how it threatens the traditional definition that a marriage is "between a man and a woman." I'm sure there will be Federal implications of this ruling afterwards, we're long from seeing the day where gay marriage is accepted across all states; but this is a great step forward.

In my younger days, I used to mock my father about how far he is behind the time, the fact that he can't touch-type (he's a classic two-finger, and on occassions where he's striving for productivity, three-finger, typist) or really grasp any idea of what this whole internet deal really is. Occassionally, he still asked me whether sending me email across the ocean, from Taiwan, would cost me any extra fees (naturally, he's more worried about me having to pay for receiving the email, than the fact that he might have to pay to send email... I love my dad).

It's an old, used, beat-up cliché, but I never thought I would one day consider myself closer to my dad's category rather than being one of the hip kids that's ingrained with all of the happenings in the tech world. The fact remains that I'm moving towards being one of the old geezer of the internet. Even though I'm still a notch below thirty, I have been in this tech bubble for nearly a decade.

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In regards to my low energy & lack of sleep:

(10:31:49 AM) nano: you need more sleep
(10:31:51 AM) nano: lunesta maybe
(10:34:39 AM) Steve: or maybe just watch the commercial for it like, 1,000 times
(10:34:40 AM) Steve: that'll put me to bed
(10:36:10 AM) nano: its so peaceful
(10:37:14 AM) Steve: so very peaceful
(10:37:17 AM) Steve: or viagra commercials
(10:37:42 AM) Steve: ironically, for a commercial about a product that cures erectile dysfunction
(10:37:46 AM) Steve: it's also very good at inducing it
(10:37:57 AM) Steve: watching a middle age guy tossing a football through tires repeatedly...
(10:38:02 AM) Steve: is just... too.. depressing
(10:40:08 AM) nano: hahha
(10:40:12 AM) nano: so true.

Via the Huffington Post:

Azariah Southworth announces he is gay

I haven't watched any Christian-based TV programming in years. To be quite honest, even at the highest point of my most fervent belief, I never watched that much religious based programming. So I really have no idea who this person is.

Apparently, he is a very popular Christian TV host.

Apparently, he is also gay.

I can't fathom the amount of personal agony to be a popular figure for a religion that despises your existence. Can't even get close to imagining the amount of courage to stand up for who you are, knowing how much ridicule, especially given our current political and religious climate, that you are about to receive.

Kudos Azariah, even though I've never watched any of your show.