The single player campaign of CoD4 reminded me of first grade, when I had to raise my hand with a desperate thrust and wave to get the teacher’s attention, just so that I can go to the bathroom. Even then, it was up to the teacher’s discretion to decide whether or not I really had to go, as if my own biology had somehow betrayed and lied to me. The single player experience in CoD4 is essentially the same kind of hand-holding buddy system that we’ve grown out of (at least some of us) by the time we hit second grade.

Although I understand that the CoD series has always been about scripted battles, being a “shooter-on-rails”. The end result is that I am pointlessly bored as our team moves from point A to B, with AI constantly yelling at me, “Soap! Where are you?!” Let’s not go into how any respectable mercenary/militia man would allow himself to have a call sign that reminds one of a bad shower experience in prison. Give me Halo 3 anytime, even with Master Chief’s strangely erotic relationship with a piece of software (granted, a piece of translucent, glowing, and oddly sexy one at that).

So why did I even get CoD4? Part of it is peer pressure, all my friends were doing it. Part of it is that mixture of RPG and various online multiplayer modes are supposed to be fun. After several grueling hours of “grinding” myself to higher levels, which made me wish…