My talent

Last night, my best friend informed me that she thinks one of my best talent (at least I hope it’s not my only talent) is being a critic. I think her exact words were something like:

“you are a very good critic, b/c you are able to articulate your likes and dislikes very very clearly… especially the dislikes”
“If you don’t like something, you will find the best words to say it… and say it in different ways 200 times”

I guess nothing illustrates this better, than a recent email that I had to send off to my housemates. I hate to admit this is almost the best writing I’ve done in … a long time:

Hey gang,

I noticed that the lint filter is sometimes being left full of lint after a load. Please take the small bit of time to clean after your lint. I don’t really mind cleaning out the lint before using the dryer; but it’s just a nice common courtesy to clean after your own lint, rather than having your lint being cleaned after.

Another issue of mine, is the amount of time that’s been taken up to do laundry. IMO:

1. It really shouldn’t take multiple days to do laundry, unless you’re doing laundry for a family of four or five (I do remember the good ol’ days when my aunt always seemed to be doing laundry.. but that was a family of five).
2. Even if you separated all your colors & whites & delicates & whatever, it really shouldn’t take more than half a day.
3. I see laundry being left out there for days at a time, this creates a few problems:
   • I’m not sure when someone’s laundry is “done”. Sure, I can open up the washing machine and take a peek, but that’s almost an invasion of privacy. I don’t want anyone to look at my underwear & such, and I certainly don’t want to look at anyone else’s underwear & such. Which brings me to the next point…
   • I could remove your clothes from the premise, but I really don’t want to touch your underwear & such, just as I would like it if no one touched my underwear and such.
   • The only situation at which I would feel comfortable with seeing your laundry out in public display, or having to touch any part of your laundry while it is in public display is:
     • I happen to be your mother, and I’m doing your laundry for you.
     • We are in a physically intimate relationship where I feel comfortable with that.
   • Given that neither of the situation above applies to any of us (unless I’ve been ignoring obvious signals? If so, I apologize, I’m a bit of a dimwit when it comes to intimacy), I think it’s safe to say that I really shouldn’t be seeing someone’s laundry just “hanging out”.

Anyway, depending on the time of the day, the mood which you’re in, this email may come across as 1) Bitchy & whiny or 2) Hilariously entertaining. Whatever the interpretation, I hope we can all respect each other’s laundry rights and perform the aforementioned duty quickly & respectfully.

I can be such a bitch.